Maybe It’s Us.

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I am dangerously near the edge of a nervous breakdown.

You see, I’m worried that maybe we internet-dwellers have it backwards.

Let’s find out…

Do you think the rest of the world is insane because they’re content to go to their same jobs, day in and day out, spend time with the same friends, frequent the same bars, spend hours in front of the TV and live boring, mundane, average health-insured lives foreverandeveramen?

And do you believe that those of us in internet-land who are living on purpose, finding our passions, doing what we love, getting rid of our possessions, traveling the world, building empires, or any combination of the above are sane?

Uh huh.

My point exactly.

I can’t help wondering if maybe we are the ones who are certifiable.

This round of doubt began yesterday when I was sitting at my neighborhood bar with some of my friends, watching the Giants game. At one point, the Giants scored a touchdown, so we all started whooping, hollering, and high-fiving in a mass of crowd-sourced endorphins.

And for a moment the room stood still.

And I realized I had been here before.

Last weekend.

And last month.

And last year.

And I knew I could easily be here again next year if I wasn’t careful. Doing the same thing with the same people in the same place just to get this same feeling.

Just then, I glanced over at the one friend who knows about my wanderlust, and he said, “Aren’t you excited?”

And I replied, “Yes, I guess I am, but haven’t we been here before?”

He laughed. (He’s in his sixties, so he’s been there more frequently than I have.)

And he said, “Yes, yes, we have.” And he smiled.

I asked if I was missing something, and he said, “No, you’re not.”

And then I laugh-cried.

Why couldn’t they all see that we were trapped in Groundhog’s Day?

Finally, I decided either there must be something wrong with me or we really are living in the matrix.

Okay, that’s not really a decision. The jury is still out.

So on a seemingly-unrelated-but-totally-related note, this morning Therese at The Unlost wrote this amazing blog post, explaining that the way to find myself (in one minute or less) is to ask of each decision, “Does this make me more of who I really am?”

Concurrently, Karol Gajda (jokingly?) tweet-invited me to meet him in Abu Dhabi to ride the fastest roller coaster in the world, just as I was getting ready to go back to work for the first time in a week and a half.

And I thought…

Which of the following choices makes me more of who I am?

A) Making excuses about not being able to take time off from my J-O-B to go.

OR

B) Getting on a plane to a country I can barely spell with little money and no plan to go ride a roller coaster?

And that brings us to this post. And my ongoing existential crisis.

To be continued….

Tagged as: Abu Dhabi, giants, j-o-b, Karol Gajda, Matrix, The Unlost, Therese Schwenkler